I'm a dork

That's a Stork, if you're not sure

So I just have to tell all of you how much of a retard I am. This week I've done several really stupid things that I think I should share. I'll list them here since I tend to be a little wordy...
1. I have been calling my friend Delphine almost everyday to see if she had her baby. Today when I called her mom answered and although we had a bit of difficulty with the whole language thing (Delphine's mom is from France)I thought that I got the basic info I needed. From what I heard I thought that the baby was born yesterday, healthy, and I got Delphine's room number at the hospital. So this afternoon I go to visit and see the new baby and when I get there I realize that Delphine had the baby six hours ago, she just woke up from the general anesthesia, and she had not even gotten a chance to hold the baby yet. I felt HORRIBLE! I totally ruined their moment. I still feel really bad that I didn't understand her mom when I spoke to her on the phone.
2. On Wednesday night when I was rushing off to my nighttime drawing class I filled up my big Nalgene water bottle and put it into my $500. leather totebag WITHOUT CLOSING the lid at all! That was so stupid, I am still annoyed with myself. All my stuff was soaked and the bag was filled with water.
3. On Wednesday morning I bought some art supplies at the art store and then walked around a bit with my coworkers from the knitting store. About an hour later I freaked out that I had left my bag of purchases somewhere and went back to all the stores I had been to looking for my bag. When I got to the art store and realized they didn't have it I thought "Oh, well maybe I should check my purse" and low and behold....it was in there. A totally spacy move on my part, and the cashier thought I was retarded.
I hope that next week is better for me. At this rate I'm bound to accidentally cut off my hand or I don't know what.